Behave Yourself!

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Why are inter personal skills important?

Let’s start with defining “inter personal skill”.

•Effectively translating and conveying information.

•Being able to accurately interpret other people’s emotions.

•Being sensitive to other people’s feelings.

•Calmly arriving at resolutions to conflict.

•Avoiding gossip.

•Being respectful of others.

Now let’s think about why.

1.Today’s work needs good networking skills.

•We are a mobile society, we need to build our support teams.

•Friends change faster than your toothpaste.

•Colleagues change faster than friends

•Clients now call up and ask rather than wait for your fax or email

•Your team interacts with other teams

2.People work as a team.

•Because teams achieve more.

•Collective intellect is very effective for all types of problems

3. To grow faster you will need all the help you can get.

Why network?

•Everyone in your life is part of your network, and it’s probably bigger than you think. They can all help you and you can help them. You should learn what you can about each individual. Acknowledging their skills, experiences, talents and needs.

•When you need the support of team members, the people you know are “warm” contacts. It’s much easier to build on that warmth by expanding your knowledge of these people, than it is to enlist the help of people you aren’t familiar with.

Remember:

•Hostile communication  causes inaccuracies.

•Hostile communication triggers defensive mechanisms.

• An important negotiation skill is knowing how to favor disarming language over arming language.

•The latter selects more forceful over more moderate words, uses statements rather than questions and when spoken, is usually accompanied by hostile intonations, pauses and other nonverbal messages that convey hostile feeling.

BE TACTFUL

T = Think before you speak

A = Apologize quickly when you blunder

C = Converse, don’t compete

T = Time your comments

F = Focus on behavior – not personality

U = Uncover hidden feelings

L = Listen to feedback

BASIC GROUND RULES

1.Set the ground for communication and align your horizon. Work on your attitude.

2.Have reasonable expectations.

3.Make the right choices of timing and channel.

4.While interacting, use your resources. Apply a variety of techniques to communication: message pacing and chunking, expressing conversational intent.

5.Consider the nonverbal aspect of communication: tone, touch, vision and behavior etc.

6.Be the best listener you can be. Be an active and responsive listener.

7.Avoid “fire starters” such as hot words, over dramatization, guilt induction, blaming, person and past centered comments.

8.Choose to behave assertively. Avoid aggressive and passive-aggressive behavior.

9. Stay focused and monitor. Take your emotional temperature.

10.Reflect upon the interaction and get ready to keep developing the relationship. Be ready to change and keep exploring.

11.Help your team mates or anybody in your network to solve their problems.  This will improve your network quality.

12.Keep in touch with your network, be an active member.

SUMMARY

•Whether working with the public or working in an office or store, inter personal skills are critical for effective communication.

•At home, inter personal skills are necessary to be an effective partner and/or parent.

•In general, inter personal skills make day to day life a lot smoother and as a result, much more enjoyable!

“If there is any great secret of success in life, it lies in the ability to put yourself in the other person’s place and to see things from his point of view – as well as your own.” – Henry Ford

Have a great day!

Barry

P.S.  What am I thankful for today?  I’m thankful for the wonderful memories of my son.  I’m thankful he taught me to be a better parent.  I’m thankful for the beautiful grand daughter he left behind.

What are you thankful for today?

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