Jun 17

Is It Better To Control Or Be Controlled?

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Are you in control or are you being controlled? Some feel it is better to be in total control in order to prevent being controlled. Trying to dominate every situation and the people around you can result in losing people.

Before I get into this, understand that this blog is about me organizing thoughts in my head and is not meant to be advice. I am no psychologist and have absolutely no expertise other than my 54 years of life experience. This is pure speculation on my part.

Controlled

Some people allow themselves to be controlled because it’s the path of least resistance. Letting others take control means that they don’t have to get into confrontation and avoids stressful conversations.

For example:

  • holding handsYou meet and fall in love with someone who seems to be independent and have great strength of character. Over time, you discover that it’s actually their own insecurity that makes them seem so strong. There are times you don’t agree with them but it’s easier to let them have their own way because if you don’t, they will bully you until you do. You are controlled by your desire to make your partner happy.
  • Someone asks you to become involved in their MLM. When you bring it up with family, they tell you all about a person they knew who tried a business and never sold anything. You believe strongly in the product and opportunity and yet, the crabs get to you and pull you back down their level. Rather than make the effort to achieve your own success, you walk away from opportunity. You decided to let your friends and family control you because you are not willing to cut your own path to success. You are controlled by the opinions of others.

If you don’t want to be controlled by these bullies, you need to be prepared to accept responsibility for yourself and your right to your own opinions. The trick is not to become that controlling person in order to feel that you aren’t being controlled.

Controlling

Have you met anyone who always needs to be the centre of attention? Controlling people tend to dominate their space. By controlling their environment, that includes you if you are in it, they feel safe. It’s part of our basic makeup. We respond to threats in one of two ways: fight or flight. Controllers tend to fight.

Controlling womanWhen controllers are constantly dominating their world, others start to feel they need to limit their exposure in order to protect themselves. The controller becomes that toxic person in the lives of those around them. The toxic person becomes like a cancer and needs to be removed before they destroy others. Don’t become that cancer. The controlling person often ends up becoming what they fear the most. Alone.

I believe most of us flip back and forth between the two, being in control and letting ourselves be controlled. That ends up in balance. The problem is when we get stuck in one or the other. Try not to get stuck!

I apologize for rambling. This is a confusing topic. Thanks for listening.

Make it a great day,

Barry

P.S. What am I thankful for today? I’m thankful for the venue GVO gives me to think out loud. I’m thankful I found a wonderful woman to share my life with. I’m thankful I was blessed with a great family.

What are you thankful for today?

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