Why do we do that?!

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Have you ever found yourself frustrated with a child or spouse because you tried to tell them something and a year later, they discover what you tried to tell them a year ago?

How did you react?  Did you acknowledge their wonderful discovery and encourage them to do it again or did you criticize them because you tried to tell them that a year ago?  How would you feel if you were on the receiving end?

It’s human nature to try new things and it’s also human nature to want to make your own discoveries.   You may attend a seminar on a subject and not feel you got anything out of it.  A year later, you attend a different seminar with a different presenter and all of a sudden, you have an epiphany!  It really doesn’t matter that you were exposed to the idea a year ago.  Last year is long gone.  What matters is that you heard it today!

It’s like when one of the kids comes home and tells you they heard this amazing new song and it sounds really familiar.  I remember driving with my daughter one day and I was singing along with the radio.  I was getting the strangest look from her.  She asked how I knew all the words.  I explained that the songs were older than her.  She said, “no they’re not, they’re new!”.  And to her they were.

They were great songs and we were both enjoying them.  It really didn’t matter that they weren’t new.  What mattered is that we could now share in a great experience.

You may be tempted to remind someone that you tried to tell them that before.  You may be tempted to prove you are right.  In order to do that, you have to tell someone that they are wrong.  Think about how that will make them feel.

If the current action is the desired one, will telling someone they are stupid make them want to do it again?  Not likely.  Will that make them feel closer to you?  Not likely.  Do you think they will hear you?  Not likely.

Reward the positive action and that creates a nice warm and safe and loving environment.  Will that make them want to do it again.  Probably.  Will that make them feel closer to you?  Probably.  Do you think they might hear you?  Probably.

Next time you find yourself frustrated with a loved one because they heard something from someone other than you, think about Feelin’ It.

 

Make it a great day!

Barry

P.S.  What am I thankful for today?  I’m thankful for a loving wife.  I’m thankful for coincidental meetings with friends.  I’m thankful for such a wonderful day yesterday!

What are you thankful for today?

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